Anti-productive

My horoscope told me today yesterday (this post has idled somewhat), “Use your time productively” and I told it right back, “Fuck you, I’ll use my time however I damn well please.” Then I stuffed my face with cheese and turned on my television which, due to indecision paralysis, ended up playing a silent screensaver for the next two hours while I browsed Youtube on my phone.

I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one in this mood.

One of the occupational hazards of working for so long in the K-drama space is that watching shows becomes work. I am aware at how privileged that sounds and is, but it doesn’t prevent me from occasionally envying everyone for whom entertainment is purely entertainment and in no way connected to work or obligation. For me, it is work that I enjoy very much, but very much work. Much of the time, this causes a gentle, ever-present low-key stress that keeps me motivated to stay abreast of content as it comes out, knowing that the minute I take a break is the minute everything begins to build up into a snowball of stress that grows bigger with every unwatched episode until it threatens to roll down the metaphorical hill of my procrastination and smother me with its weight. I prefer the gentle, low-key stress. It is manageable, mostly.

Right now, though, I’m indulging in a tiny rebellion. Anything that smells even slightly of productivity feels like a burden; I am resisting on some sort of principle that rejects the desire to keep up appearances of normalcy. I am putting in the effort to remain functioning and no more, thank you very much. Finally, my sloth has power.

I’ll take my chances with the avalanche this time.

And I’m in—

Phew, and it only took numerous attempts at blindly guessing my password and getting locked out for a spell (a process that quickly went from “What was my password again?” to “What WOULD I have picked as my password, if I were eight years in the past?” — a strangely existential exercise) to find my way back inside this neglected old space. I’ve missed you, old blog! Even if you’re full of cobwebs and musty corners and a very strange new interface I can barely navigate because I have no idea how WordPress has updated (needlessly, in my opinion) itself. Even if (or perhaps even because?) blogs are a relic of a bygone era. And to think, this is where everything began. *nostalgic tears and snot*

The B-side

This blog has no concept. It used to have a concept, and then the concept grew up, got a job, and moved out, leaving this blog with empty nest syndrome. So it just sits here. I could get existential about it, but it’s too early in the morning for that.

(An aside: It is nice to be able to indulge design changes on a whim. You change one little thing on DB — okay, maybe a lot of little things — and mass freakout ensues. But you know, some days you just want to use a serif font without having to spend weeks deciding on WHICH serif font I want to be saddled with forever. It’s paralyzing, facing decisions like that. I want to date my serifs, not marry them, and sometimes dabble with sans serifs. Um, this metaphor is getting away from me, as they so often do. Also, it’s early.)

Anyway. I’m getting to a point. (I think. It’s hard to tell sometimes.)

Right, the B-side. As in, the part where I get to ramble without purpose and gaze at navel fuzz and only talk about The Main Site in vaguely veiled references. Like how I passed out from recap fatigue last night (blogging: deceivingly exhausting!) and had to get up at my metaphorical brink of dawn this morning (which is, like, three hours later than real dawn) to write a post about Kim Soo-hyun and aliens. I realize this is not early for most people, but after about your 18th straight night recapping into the wee hours, all sense of time and space starts to blur, much as it would in a Joseon-era fusion sageuk about aliens. Hey, if you have to drag yourself up at ungodly hours, at least the reason should be entertaining.

Also, Kim Soo-hyun should really play an alien. He has that vaguely alien-hotness chiseled appeal. Like someone else I could mention. Ahem.

kimsoohyun_elle2a

Workaholia

…is the name of the hypothetical company that girlfriday and I will erect (snerk) to take over the world and whatever and such. At least, that’s what we say whenever we swing from one end of the workaholia extreme (supreme laziness) to the other (drama drama drama recap recap recap oh a drink!).

me: Oh my god with the new dramas.

girlfriday: Seriously, May?

me: Do you suppose we could learn to write faster? Or be more efficient?

girlfriday: That’s an idea. Well, I don’t know if we could write faster, but we could try sleeping less.

Why hello there, November. You again?

Has it really been a year since I last wrote in this blog? I’m not doing the Nano thing this year (am plenty busy without it), but I’m thinking I should probably use this space more.

Was looking at a blog the other day (a half-personal, half-professional sort of dealio), and it was so witty, disarming, and enjoyable to read that I thought to myself, with equal measures envy and resolve, “I should really write a blog.”

Pause.

“Like that one, I mean.”

Funny to think that DB started out on this humble little space here and has since moved on to more expansive, more expensive pastures. Not that it’s run any differently than it was back then, despite the occasional and inevitable “It USED to be so much BETTER!” pointed sigh. (Can sighs be pointed? In my mind they are, with the offended party doing their best to breathe their disapproval in my general direction. I just pretend not to notice, leaving that affront hanging in the air with nowhere to go but back to its sender, who may dispose of it as they will.)